That "Last Lecture" guy

Let me start this blog by saying, if you haven't read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, I encourage you to do so. I cannot say how much I enjoyed it, because there are no words strong enough. I laughed, I cried, and hopefully I learned a few things.

I can't help but be reminded as I was listening (I listened to this as an audiobook) about my own experience in dealing with someone who has pancreatic cancer. Those were the darkest days of my life, and even six years later, I get tearful when I remember what it was like. My biggest fear in the world is being told I have cancer or some other terminal disease, as the experience I went through was so unbelievably painful and I never want to face something like that again. I was shocked to be hearing about someone who was given the same death sentence as my first husband, and how he could still remain uber-positive.

There is so much to fear and hate about this world and things that can happen to us, but I've forgotten there is good too. I go through life being scared of people. I'm scared of letting them know me and scared that somehow if I get involved with people, it will ruin my life. I think I may be wasting my time with all my "hiding from the world". I may need to start adding people back into my life. Scary. Can someone please hold my hand while I do this?

Again, read the book. It may inspire you.