Little observations

Have made several miscellaneous observations lately that made me think. Some positive, some negative. See below:

1. Women's pants are complicated. Really. I mean, what is up with all the buttons, hooks, snaps, zippers, etc.? I've learned that you should not wait too long to go pee because it may take you a good minute to undo all of these things. One minute in "pee-pee" time is a long time when you have to go real bad.
2. There are still people who are nice to strangers. Today I was slightly late for the bus and the bus driver was kind enough to wait for me. That meant a lot to me. I don't think she was happy about waiting, but she did, and I appreciate it. Also, at my work, people in elevators actually exchange smiles, and wish you a good day when you exit. In a world where we're being taught to avoid all human contact at any cost (email, auto-attendants, ATMs, etc.), it's nice to know that general friendliness is still out there.
3. I like getting new office supplies as opposed to stocking my desk with supplies that have floated around the office for who-knows-how-long. Unfortunately this doesn't jive with my going green initiative, but it's for sanitary reasons. Example: I knew a girl who would cut slices of American cheese with her letter opener. I feel bad for whomever had to use that letter opener after she left the company.
4. You shouldn't eat too much sugar for breakfast. I know this, but sometimes forget it. It makes you feel yucky and could possibly ruin your whole day.
5. When you like your job, you're a much happier person. Don't really need to expound upon this point.
6. Last, people drop out of your life and don't tell you why. I've done this, and regretted it. I hope I'm woman enough to never do that again. Now, a couple of people who I thought were friends have stopped talking to me. I have been completely unsuccessful in finding out what I did wrong. I've been left to speculate, and in that process I get very angry. Since there is no resolution to this conundrum in sight, I've decided I just need to let it go. I've tried to let it go, but I think I need to do something more that decide. I think I need to have a ritual burning or something...it has to be a tangible way that I can really flush this anger emotion out of my system. I think I'll do this today. Anyone who wants to join me can bring marshmallows :)
   

The wheels on the bus DO go round and round

At least they did for me!

I finally did it. I took the bus to and from work today. I loved it. It was fun. I liked just sitting back and letting someone else do the driving. Another great thing about it is that I'm going to be saving money on gas, garage-parking fees, and using mass transit is helping me go greener.

Riding the bus is something I was scared to do, which may sound dumb to some people, but hey, I'm from a small town. I knew nothing about how to figure out the schedule or how to pay for it, blah, blah, blah. I did lots of research and got a handle on what I thought I needed to do, and it worked. I always thought I'd be a city slicker when I grew up. I've come to realize that I'm never going to be, and that doesn't mean I can't like the city, it's just that I'm never going to turn into a metropolitan chic. And I'm ok with that.

I would encourage anyone who has the opportunity to take the bus! It's definitely a good way to go!

Week wrap-up

So this week wore me out. I slept SO hard last night and slept in so late this morning. I'm hoping that with time I'll adapt to my new schedule (which, by the way, isn't a tough one...it's just new to me.) I'm positive I'll be ok, because nothing is ever as hard as it seems as first. On the upside, I love my new job. After the first week I've confirmed what I had hoped to be true...that I'm really going to be happy there. I don't expect perfection, as that is unrealistic, but I'm generally positive about this move. Now my challenge is to be patient with myself in learning a new industry and again, getting used to being a working girl.

Kevin has been particularly nice to me, bringing me congratulatory flowers, letting me take naps, getting me a glass of water when I was too tired to move, etc. I really found myself a keeper in Kevin. I am so grateful for him and he is truly my rock whether he knows it or not. I am feeling so blessed that I am lucky enough to have his support, and it's not just lip service...he's proven himself to be devoted to me. I never doubted that anyway. (If you're reading this Kevin, I love you.)

I guess there's not much else to say, as I've been so focused on just one thing this week. I'm still tired, but I'm happy.

To be or not to be....me.

In my endeavor of establishing myself in my new job, I've given much thought to how I want to present myself personally. Professionally, of course, I want to be a quick learner, competent and hard-working. On the personal side, I've gotten myself into bad relationships at work because I didn't exercise healthy boundaries. I do not what this to happen ever again. I'm sick of attracting needy, whiny, high maintenance people who crush my spirit.

In my "plan", I had determined to only let the "professional Shannon" shine for a while. It's not working. The people I work with are cool and it's so easy to get caught up in conversations that revolve around my personal life. I want to be pleasant and not let any of my crazy show through. I'm having a hard time with that because I'm not Mrs. Serious. I am:

• weird
• funny
• silly
• nerdy
• talkative

So far, I haven't had too many opportunities to share the details of my life history, so I've not crossed the line yet, but I'm concerned. My mouth runs too fast. GAH! I better get a hold on this fast before everyone finds out what a freak I really am.

Or, should I drop the defenses and just be myself? The thing is, I can't not be myself. Maybe I should just be a censored version of myself. I suppose this is appropriate in work, and many other situations.

Thank God Kevin knows the weirdo-freak in me, and hasn't yet run away screaming.

Below is a blog I wrote a few months ago, right after my Grandpa died:

My Grandpa died last Friday. It was/is a real blow to everyone in my family. We knew he was ill, getting older, etc., but that didn't make it hurt any less. In the last few days, there's been a lot of the usual crying, hurting, laughing, and doing things like getting out the old pictures and telling stories. Since I love lists so much, I wanted to make a list about some of the things I'm going to miss about my Grandpa.

1. Talking to him on the phone. And trying to get him off the phone (which if you were lucky, would only take you about 15 minutes).
2. Reading his emails, no matter how grammatically incorrect they were, they were still always sweet.
3. Getting a phone call from him on my birthday, which actually was 4 days after he died this year, so this one, I've really missed.
4. His handwriting. It was very distinct.
5. All of his old baseball hats, with their goofy pins.
6. His jokes. Anyone who knows him will know what I mean. His jokes were out of left field, and often were not at all funny. But seeing him laugh always made me laugh.
7. His coffee. My Grandpa taught me how to drink coffee.
8. His stories about his life growing up in Paducah, KY. I didn't hear near enough of them.
9. His orangutan kisses (you'd have to have been there).
10. His pride in his family and self.
11. His ability to be easily pleased and amused.
12. His No Bake cookies with their mystery ingredients.
13. His encouragement. This is the one I'll miss the most. No one in my life, except my Grandpa, has ever told me that all he ever wants is for me to be happy. He told me this every single time I had any kind of conversation with him. Every time.

Getting through this is going to be hard. I'm going home at Christmas and he was supposed to be there. His absence will be felt greatly. It already is. I know I'll be ok, but it's going to take a while before I can think of him without tears welling up.

PS (1-18-08) Christmas was very different without him. I missed him so much. What I wouldn't give just to be with him again.

Going greener

So, I am trying to go green. I admit to being lax in the last few years, but I decided that it's just lazy to do this. I am starting to care much more about the environment I live in. I'm getting better about recycling and being conscious about what I consume. For example, I've decided that rather than buying bottles of water, it's better to have a water jug that I just wash out. I'm trying to use less energy around the house, keeping an eye out for things I can unplug, turn off, etc. I'm trying to avoid buying "stuff" just to have new stuff. There's no need for a new dining room table, while the one I have is just fine. This is also making me more judicious about the things I do buy, because I take into consideration the fact that I may have to live with this item for a LONG time. Kevin and I try to run our errands to save on gas

Here's the thing: I didn't know how much I would feel the benefit directly. I thought that I was just one contributor to making the earth better. But man, it's starting to save me money and I just feel good about it. It's helping me be less materialistic. I'm personally changing because of it. I encourage everyone to care more, if only to benefit yourself.

Clean carpet?

Oh man, yesterday, I was reveling in the freshness of my newly cleaned carpet.

But, of course, I woke up this morning to a cat with a tummy ache. I feel so bad for him. He even looks under the weather. And he made a couple of mistakes on the carpet. This is probably my fault, I switched him to diet food, because he's such a fatty-fatty-boom-batty. I hope I didn't make my cat bulimic. Ok, back to the old food, and onto another plan. I will be researching cat food switching more thoroughly. I'm a mean mommy :(

At least Stanley Steemer left behind a nice bottle of professional carpet cleaning solution for times like this.

Poor Harley.